and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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