thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
