Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I believe in your delicious
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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