if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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