Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
