i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
