I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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