I can tuck mytits in my pants
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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