I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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