make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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