You're a womanizer and a bitch.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
