nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
