I think im going to throw up on grandma
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize