Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
