You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
