I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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