Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
