Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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