I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
