Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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