i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
