Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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