so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
