I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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