So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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