It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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