Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
