She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
