You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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