I want to make a zoo with you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Everclear isn't food dammit
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize