How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You ruined the universe
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
