ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
