So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
