So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
