Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
