The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
