Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize