TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
