dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
