Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize