you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
