Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
