Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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