I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
