So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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