I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
