i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
