so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
