All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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