Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
