I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
