i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
