I like to think it a success when the cops are called
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
