this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
