WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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