When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
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