You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
