JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
this hospital has no fireball
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize