help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize